Op-Ed: How About Cognitive Exams For Democrat Politicians?
Jan 29, 2018 11:59AM
● By Brian Genest
President Donald Trump is crazy – like a fox.
The perfect results of his self-requested cognitive exam, on top of excellent physical health, make the media mental.
“Sick” is the only way to describe the press conference about the results of the president’s physical. It painfully lasted more than an hour and many of the questions were absolutely kooky.
Can you imagine if a reporter asked: “Does Hillary Clinton wear dentures?” Ageism!
How about this one: “Was Hillary Clinton’s waist measured?” Sexism!
Or: “How many scoops of ice cream does Hillary Clinton devour?” Kanklesism!
Some reporters-turned-press-room-psychologists suggested that cognitive testing should be routine. Not a bad idea – especially for them and Democrat politicians.
Does anyone recall concerns about mental capacity when former President Barrack Obama said he visited 57 states in America or had to be reminded of his correct religion? Have you ever mistakenly called yourself Baptist, Jewish or Episcopalian and had a friend tell you that you’re actually a Christian?
Perhaps Barack Obama should also be given a lie detector test – about Obamacare, for starters. If he likes his results, he can keep his results. He can’t keep the same doctor, however, even if he likes him. He’s President Trump’s doctor, now.
Has Hillary Clinton’s doctor performed a cognitive exam on her? There’s been tons of speculation about her health. We’ve all seen the video of her collapsing and being loaded into the van. And what’s with her coughing fits? Talk about a persistent hack!
Speaking of hacks, is former President Bill Clinton getting a cognitive exam? Or does it depend on the meaning of “is?” A lie detector test may be in order for him, too. After all, he did not have sexual relations with that woman. Except he did. And he was impeached for lying under oath. Scandalous, a new 7-part documentary-style series chronicles the sequence of events that led to his impeachment. Wasn’t he great with women?
Did someone forget about a cognitive exam for former Vice President Joe Biden, a career politician? His career included calling Barack Obama “clean,” telling a state senator in a wheelchair to stand up at a political rally and dropping out of the 1988 president race after being accused of plagiarizing speeches by Bobby Kennedy and others.
Is there time to give former Vice President Al Gore a cognitive exam before the next ice age? You probably remember his environmental predictions, which have proven inconveniently untrue for him.
Shouldn’t members of Congress be included in the cognitive exams, too?
If so, could we please see the results of Sen. Elizabeth Warren’s cognitive exam, STAT? And why hasn’t she taken a DNA test yet? Again, a lie detector test may be more appropriate. Have you seen her cookbook recipes?
Do you think Senate Minority Leader Chuck “Chaos” Schumer might need a cognitive exam? He’s apparently completely reversed his position on shutting down the government.
Should Sen. Dianne Feinstein, 84, get a cognitive exam? She’s apparently completely reversed her position on illegal immigration.
Could you imagine the late Sen. Ted Kennedy’s cognitive, uh, exam? He melded Barack Obama and Osama Bin Laden. That was a somewhat brainy moment for him, compared to the deadly accident in Chappaquiddick, that Easter weekend in Palm Beach and his famous “waitress sandwich.”
Does House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi seem to be practically begging for a cognitive exam? She told us we had to pass Obamacare to find out what’s in it. She appears confused about who’s currently president. She calls $1,000 bonuses for working people “crumbs.”
Don’t Beacon Hill politicians need cognitive exams, too?
How many hours could former Gov. Deval Patrick’s cognitive exam last? Why did he call two terrorist brothers who detonated bombs at the Boston Marathon “these young fellas?” Why did he call the 9/11 attacks on our country “a failure of human understanding?” Why was he always wearing that MEMA vest?
Is it too soon after the scandal involving his 30-year-old husband to ask if on-leave Senate President Stanley Rosenberg, 68, should get a cognitive exam?
Last, but certainly not least, how about a cognitive exam for State Rep. Colleen Garry? Her career highlights include failing to file state income taxes for two years and being fined $5,000 for violating the campaign finance laws. Her recent priorities include silencing free speech and higher fines for jaywalking.
Anyone need aspirin?
(Brian Genest is a member of the Dracut Republican Town Committee)