OP-ED: Halloween Treats For Tricky Democrats
Oct 25, 2017 06:50AM
By Brian Genest
Few things are spookier than Democrat politicians.
From shenanigans and spending in Massachusetts to stalling and stupidity in Washington, D.C., they are a scary bunch!
Here’s some Halloween treats for tricky Democrats:
On Beacon Hill, State Sen. Barbara L’Italien (D-Andover) gets a Snickers. It’s somewhat smooth, a little nutty and travels well when you’re running for Congress, but actually live in a different district.
Senate President Stanley Rosenberg gets a king-size Payday. He’s cashing in for more than $150,000 per year, but doesn’t let Senate business get in the way of all-expenses-paid trips.
State Sen. Anne Gobi (D-Spencer) and Sen. Jamie Eldridge (D-Acton), co-sponsors of legislation to make Massachusetts a sanctuary state, get an Almond Joy and a Mounds. Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.
In the House, Speaker Robert DeLeo gets a Butterfinger. His hands were all over the Probation Department scandal; he was even named an unindicted co-conspirator by prosecutors in the case. But no worries… He subsequently handed out campaign dough to his colleagues and was made speaker for life. We’re going to need a larger trick-or-treat bag!
Here in Dracut, State Rep. Colleen Garry gets sour apple Laffy Taffy. It’s fruity (always tart and never sweet) and can hide the bad taste left in her mouth from trying to silence free speech.
In our nation’s capital, Native American U.S. Senator Elizabeth Warren gets candy corn. There’s as much corn in the candy as there’s native in the American: None!
Her bookend counterpart, super boring U.S. Senator Ed Markey, gets Necco Wafers, but he has to share them. He needs the sugar rush and so does anyone listening to him drone on and on like a drone.
Speaking of sharing, former President Barack Obama and former First Lady Michelle Obama each get their own half of a two-flavor box of Nerds. Goofy Grape for him. Sour Strawberry for her.
Socialist U.S. Sen. Bernie Sanders (D-Pluto) gets a Milky Way because he’s a total space shot.
Man of the world and former Secretary of State John Kerry, America’s oldest gigolo, gets a Skor. Tell him it’s a fine European confection and he’ll think it’s just mah-velous.
Mercifully retiring Third-District Congresswoman Niki Tsongas, who has been a real liberal turd, gets a giant Tootsie Roll.
Over in Lowell, Democrat State Sen. Eileen Donoghue, who just hauled in an enormous pay raise, gets a 100 Grand. Her new annual salary is actually $122,548, almost three times as much as the median household income in the adopted city she “represents.”
Lowell State Reps. Tom Golden, David Nangle and Rady Mom get a 3 Musketeers; they’ve all banded together to deliver absolutely no money for a new Rourke Bridge.
And there’s one goodie left for that extra-special someone…
Former Presidential Candidate, former Secretary of State, former Presidential Candidate, former U.S. Senator and former First Lady Crooked Hillary Clinton gets a Bit-O-Honey. Hopefully, it will sweeten her up, soothe her throat and make that hack go away once and for all.
Trick or treat, indeed.
Brian Genest is a member of the Dracut Republican Town Committee.
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